Thursday, April 19, 2018

RITUALS



I remember my grandma, a widow. She used to get up early in the morning, spend her time praying and reading Bhagwad Gita. In the afternoon after a short siesta she regularly visited nearby temple for Bhajan and Kirtan. By evening she cooked dinner for the family. She was not very religious nor did she like cooking very much. She had made this her routine. She used to say that doing what we like is one thing which is good, but at some point in life we must also start loving what we do to be happy. She kept herself occupied without indulging in the family politics. After a lot of thought she found these set of actions were best to pass her time. In fact it began as a routine and became a ritual for her. Come what may, every day after daily puja, she went for bhajan kirtan and in the evening cook dinner for the family. She worked whole day to achieve this. This regulated her life and kept her busy throughout the day. It was a ritual which she herself chose. She was happy, active and always smiling.

My retired neighbour in Pune gets up early in the morning and jogs straight to ‘Parvati’. It is a hillock with a mandir at the top. He starts at 5 30 in the morning and comes back by 9 am every day. He has been doing this for last 30 years, with a firm belief that this exercise keeps him healthy. He is now 90 years young and works his daily routine for everyday morning ritual of scaling the hillock. As a result, he has controlled his diet and performs other supplementary actions such that he remains physically and mentally fit for the morning exercise. This has brought in a lifestyle change which has controlled his eating ­­habits, sleeping habits and other daily chores so much that, he is 90 and still looks fresh and healthy.

Every Sunday my colleague does a local cleanliness drive. He cleans the area with broom, using all kinds of cleaning equipment which he has purchased over a period of time. He does it every Sunday regularly for three to four hours for many years now. People join him; sometimes miscreants litter that area during weekdays. Unperturbed whether people join or people litter he carries on with his ritual of cleaning bringing in a sense of satisfaction and joy of achievement. When one does something without any personal expectation his self-esteem gets a boost and over shadows any other desire. It gives the person immense joy and happiness.

A routine is set of actions regularly followed. Routine may be forced, or carried out without conviction or done because one has no choice. It is generally short lived. A ritual is more meaningful than a routine. A ritual almost changes the life style and makes it healthy. Mostly it is undertaken by choice and is enduring. A ritual is undertaken with faith. It is a result of commitment, sincerity and conviction. Rituals help to regain calmness and peace of mind. It helps to find happiness in small things. In the pursuit of happiness our endeavour should be to find a ritual which suits our mental makeup.  A service minded person would choose social work as a ritual. A devotional person would choose a religious activity as a ritual.

Society has started associating rituals as actions based on religious blind faith and has earned a negative meaning. Blind faith are a bane to the society and harmful to self. Routines actioned with conscious faith are rituals. Rituals augment positivity and happiness. Action with conviction is better than doing it without it. Every action has to be an outcome of reasoning or it should have been driven by conscious faith. Any action resulting from lack of faith or lack of reasoning would be an ill action. Those who don’t have faith and those whose actions are not an outcome of reasoning are bound to fail. For secure and happy life, adopt a ritual.


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

THROTTLE BACK YOUR BRAIN !!!


I was watching my wife playing with our pet labrador. Always loving that they are, he was wagging his tail for all the names being showered on him. “Dennis. उल्लू का पठ्ठा. Stand up. You lazy moron” - She blurted prodding him to stand up as he was lying down after his morning feed.

As happy as always, he promptly started wagging his tail and stood up. Oblivious by the words and the meanings blurted at him. He was just happy that we were interacting with him. He was at peace.

Seeing him happy, a train of thoughts lead me from one subject to another. Just because he has muted his ego he is enjoying the moment. I would have been angry by now if I were to get showered by the aforesaid abuses blurted at me. In contrast he was happy being with us.

This jovial reaction to the abuses may be because of his lesser intellect than humans and that he was unable to understand the meaning of the word उल्लू का पठ्ठा. We are intelligent species and can think. That’s where we end up in a mess. Every word coming out of the other person is analysed, its meaning once realised we start noticing the intentions behind each blurted word, then connect the word with earlier episodes and derive meanings out of spoken and non-spoken words. We consider we have successfully decoded the spoken word.  We may not remember the exact words previously spoken by the other person but we do recall how we had felt then, as feelings stick. In doing this the present moment is lost by us. Henceforth we don’t enjoy the moment but delve in the past and turn off our mood or start expecting to hear the very words which we would like to hear. When we hear words other than what we expect, we feel sad.   

Such a negative reaction to the spoken word is natural as we have more intellect. Intellect to analyse the word. Intellect to hear non spoken words between the spoken words. Intellect to decipher the intentions behind the spoken words.  The dog has fewer brains and so he can be happy at being called उल्लू का पठ्ठा and can enjoy the moment. For us, knowing the language, connotations and past situations, we derive in depth meaning out of that spoken word and become mostly unhappy.

What if we train ourselves to calibrate our mind, intelligence and ego like a volume control knob to suit the situations with an aim of choosing to be happy? Like a powerful aero engine which is derated. Derating is to use the engine at less than its rated maximum capability in order to prolong its life.

By toning down our intelligence a bit and not thinking always logically, especially with relatives and friends we would be happier. Listening to our heart gives more happiness than taking decisions based on our brain. Our relations with relatives and friends would endure more if we do what our heart says and keep our intelligence and logic at bay. This way we would enjoy the moment, get less stressed up and be happy. Brain may help us in bringing comforts, but in the long run, it is less helpful to keep us happy than the mind driven by our heart.  

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